So the door opened and this big, fat guy in a red suit walked in

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So the door opened and this big, fat guy in a red suit walked in. He looked like Santa Claus, but there was no twinkle in his eye. He says, “I’m Santa Claus. Do you fix sleighs?” So I said no, but we do fix all domestic and foreign cars, that we do mechanical and bodywork and painting, that we’ve been doing for more than 50 years In the same location, that our prices are fair, that customers get an honest day’s work, and then I said, “ aren’t you here a little early this year?” He says, “You know, everybody thinks we just pack up on Christmas Eve and fly off. We work for months getting toys ready, checking oh no are you nice lists, packing and wrapping — and the elves! Workmen’s comp, vacation pay, minimum wage, fancy working conditions — and the reindeer! Finding pasture land, rising food costs, catering to Rudolph whims! And how would you like to wear red fur in a 90 degree summer to keep my image going? And do you know how many chimneys are choked with soot every winter? All of them! And now the sleigh’s broken, the elves are striking, the reindeer have diarrhea — and you want to know if I’m a little early!!” And he storms out and slams the door. You know, I was glad we don’t fix sleighs.

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